Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hmmm...Perception is everything....

Me and my wonderful husband, John.

So, my husband John and I went to this pizza place to meet some friends. He works with the husband and I had never met his wife. She was very nice and pretty and a little heavy...not much though. Anyway, we were talking about snoring. She said that she snored and asked if I did. I told her I did but I thought it was because the fat around my neck and I told her I was having Lap Band surgery in May. She looked at me and asked why? Well, my eyes got big and I'm thinking....can't you see how fat I am? I told her I had to lose about 90 pounds. She said "Oh no you don't. You don't look that heavy to me. I thought only really fat people had that done." Of course I was flattered. Maybe it was the outfit I wore or the fact that it was kind of dark and she really could not tell how fat I am.

I just found it very interesting how other people perceive you and what you see in the mirror. I really only see the fat hanging on me and how big my belly looks. I mean I am 50 years old and I am so afraid someone is going to ask me when my baby is due!

It is so frustrating too even get dressed up a little to meet people who work with my husband. I really do not want to embarrass him in any way. He is wonderful and says he loves me no matter what, bless his heart. I changed my clothes 3 times before I felt okay to go out. I can't wait for the day when I can go in my closet and choose anything I want and it looks good to me.

Honestly, if I could stay home until I lose this damn weight, I would! I hate feeling inadequate and self conscious ALL of the time! May cannot get here soon enough!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Miss Vickie


  1. This is a great post! I know how you feel, I was the same way before my surgery. It does get better. Im sure you look great and hubby loves you & is never embarrassed. Some of us are lucky to have supportive husbands and it sounds like we are a couple of them. :)

  2. This really is a great post!

    I have mixed feelings about people who try to tell YOU that you are not heavy or fat enough for the surgery. A lot of times, they are just afraid of the unknown and hear the word SURGERY and get scared for you and don't want you to take the risk. Sometimes, the fact that you are doing something positive to get healthy by losing the weight once and for all makes them feel like they should do something about their own problem.

    I have told only a few people about my intention on having the surgery. Once I have the surgery in March, I will only tell people that I feel comfortable telling. I find if you tell someone after the fact, they are more likely to accept it and not share their negative feelings if they have any.

    In any event, I am so with you on always feeling self-conscious about my weight and how I look. We will get through this and feel and look great! We both have husbands who love us any way we are and that says it all!

    Have a great weekend!

  3. Please be proud of yourself no matter what your weight. You obviously have done so many things right - after all, you have a wonderful life, husband, family. The weight is something you're dealing with in your own way and you will be very successful at it. Having 90 lbs to lose, you'll probably reach your goal in a year - that's not that long of a period of time. Look, it's already March - where did January and February go?

  4. I met three other ladies yesterday that live near me and are banded. They found me through LBT and asked if I'd join them and thinking support is always great, I jumped at the chance. When I got there they asked me when I was banded and told me I looked great. I had to smile, in a sad way, because I was smaller than two of them, so when I said I was not banded yet they were shocked.

    I wish I had enough clothes that I could change three times to find the best outfit. I have four outfits that fit right now. I feel like nothing is going to make me feel or look good, so I just make sure it's decent and comfortable and call it done. I will be so happy when more clothes get back into my daily mix!

    May will be here before you know it!

  5. Love the picture of you and John!!! Loved catching up and reading your blog. Say Hello to John from Tiger and I. :) Can't wait to see you in June!!! Muah! xoxoxo