Thursday, March 11, 2010

Counseling.....Here I come!

So, I had my 4th diet and nutrition appointment yesterday. I also had my follow up psychology appt. I have decided to go for some counseling so I don't screw up this band and weight loss thing.


The first time I was married I was only 17 and we had a baby. We were both very young and my parents had just divorced and my mom moved to AZ. I was in VA. The ex was very controlling and verbally abusive especially about my weight. I was a straight A student in high school, but I had to drop out due to the pregnancy. I took the GED and missed the math by 2 points......I loathe math. Anyway, the ex said he didn't know I was so stupid.....mind you, I used to do his college homework for him. I waited 10 years to go back and try again, I was terrified I would fail again but somehow I passed.


Of course there were lots of digs about my weight even though I had 4 kids in 7 years. I had them all by the time I was 24. You know the "had to go to Omar the tent maker" for her clothes. He hurt me a lot and eventually we divorced after he had an affair. My dad used to make some not so nice remarks too. Why are some men such jack asses?

So, I need to find a way to stop the old voices I hear in my head all of the time. I want to succeed with the band and I am so excited and ready for it. My 2nd husband, John is so amazing and kind and supportive. I mean he married me when I was 210lbs! He has never seen me at a normal weight and I can hardly weight to show him. It is unbelievable to me how I allow people to continue to hurt me even when I divorced the jackass 15 years ago! I am really looking forward to getting these issues resolved once and for all. I think I should start now to give me a good head start before surgery.


For me, I think the counseling and the band will go hand in hand. I know there are lots of issues I have that have contributed to my weight gain over the years. I want to get it right this time!


Miss Vickie

18 comments:

  1. Vickie, I can so identify with you. I call the voice in my head Bertha, she's a bitch and she has the memory of an elephant. She remembers every unkind word that anyone has ever said to me. She also stops me from believing the nice things that my wonderfulnew husband says to me now. I've spent a great deal of time in therapy and am learning to replace her with a healthier voice. But, it's really hard, old habits die hard. I'm really looking forward to sharing your journey with you, we have alot in common. Hang in there.

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  2. Wow, it is good to hear I am not alone! I tell you, mean people suck! I will keep up with you too....good to meet you!

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  3. I still remember comments my parents said when I was younger. "If you keep eating like that you will look like the Goodyear Blimp." I had to ask what a blimp was...35 years later I still remember that comment. My mother once said I didn't need to go on a diet, but rather just live off the fat of the land. I don't think my parents intentionally meant to hurt me; we weren't as "sensitive" back then about eating disorders, etc. It does make me very aware and careful how I speak to my children. I try to focus on being "healthy" rather than being thin. Yep, we all need to bury our Berthas. :) Good luck on your journey.

    http://bandedandblogging.blogspot.com/

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  4. You're on the right track. The band will be your helper but it still needs a lot of extra help in figuring out all the head stuff.

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  5. Vickie, Vickie, Vickie...We are so alike! My Steve married me at my highest weight. I have those same voices (different people) but the same nonetheless. I have started to tell them to F off! I'm starting over, a do-over if you will. You'll find your way to shut them up too! We'll make it this time...there is no other option!

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  6. Jacquie, I can't believe how much we have in common! I like your line to tell them off too! You are so right that their is no other option. You must be getting so excited about your surgery. Good for you...I'll be right behind you!

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  7. Dear Vickie, It saddens me to hear you talk this way. You are a very beautiful woman and you always lite up the room when you worked with us in Cali. I terribly missed you when you moved away. I never really had the chance to get to know you the way I wanted. When our husbands met at the Christmas party and seemed to hit it off, I thought, WOW! this could be a couple we could enjoy time with, Now here you are across the US. I am very happy for you , giving yourself priority. You deserve that. I pray for your happiness, comfort and strength to block out those ugly comments. YOU GO GIRL! love Karen

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  8. Vickie, I just found your blog and so glad I did! Thanks for following me too! I have really found that the therapy is helping me. I think for me too it will be key to making this work. Looking forward to following your journey!

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  9. Thanks Jenny, I hope you are right. I can't afford to screw this up!

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  10. Hi, Vickie - Like Jenny, I just found your blog and am really glad I did. You are a little over a month ahead of me in the process. I have my mid-point nutritional counseling appt on March 22, so I'm hoping to be banded by July. I don't think I've found anybody yet who I'm actually ahead of, but I try to look at it positively - I'll have all your experiences to learn from so when my time comes I'll be even more prepared. I can't wait until my time comes and I can be the inspiration to some newbie like so many are to me in this wonderful blogging community. If you'd like to follow me, by link is http://wishingandhopingandprayingforaband.blogspot.com/

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  11. QB, I am new to your blog, what a voyage you have traveled. I wish you the best with your effort to go to counseling - an avenue I contemplate, myself. Good luck.

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  12. thanks for joinging my blog
    i am following you as well now 2
    have a great day

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  13. I can so relate! It's hard not to listen to those voices when we've been hearing them in the back of our minds for sooo long.

    Wishing you all the best in your journey.

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  14. Off topic - but I'm doing some housing research and was wondering if "The Vineyards" in Navarre is a good place to live?
    You can email me through my profile or angelsmum24 at yahoo dot com.

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  15. So sorry Vickie. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially a mom who cranks out 4 kids in a row! (me too!) Your jackass ex sounds just like my dad. He was incredibly verbally abusive to my mom about her weight, and she responded by developing life-long eating disorders - just in time for me to learn all about fat shame and dieting at age 11!

    So what a great thing you are doing going to counseling. I know you will be a success with the band, and I can't wait to hear all about it.

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  16. Hi! I see you added yourself as a new follower to my blog so I had to come over and return the favor! :) I can soooo relate to you on this topic. I started seing a therapist as part of my weight loss journey and I have found it to be one of the best things I have done for myself. I wish you the absolute best of luck on your wieght loss and here's to finding the best YOU! :)

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  17. I left you an award on my page. :o)

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  18. It really irritates me when I hear people that have to constantly put people down (especially the people they are meant to love) just to make themselves feel better. I am glad to hear that you have a lovely husband now!!

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